writing tip #736:


refuse to date anyone who doesn’t have the same name as one of your OCs

i take this one back don’t actually do this it’s very distracting if you’re dating someone so lovely and attractive and funny when you’re trying to write a douchelord antihero with the same name

writing tip #805:

don’t focus on the main character, focus on the mean character: the character that’s the result of adding all of the other characters together and dividing them by how many there are. only when you have perfected them will you truly understand how the others work



writing tip #804:

it’s a metaphor; you put your fingers on the keys but you don’t actually do any writing

writing tip #803:

motivate yourself by only allowing yourself to break down and cry once every four pages

writing tip #802:

got writer’s block? end the scene you’re on immediately and have your main character, wincing, wake to the realisation that they got hammered the night before and have acquired a “yolo” tattoo on the body part of your choosing

writing tip #801:

writing with your laptop resting on top of a successful novel will allow your story to absorb its power and increase your chances of being published by 74.82%

writing tip #800:

rethink your novel if it doesn’t have at least twenty-six characters and you’re not being artsy

writing tip #799:

more pages more wages

writing tip #798:

hahaha you actually want to write? hey everyone check out this nerd